Friday, November 25, 2005

The Death of a Legend

I know that I haven't posted in a while (and the missus lets me know about it EVERY day), but something I read today on my headlines really hit me hard. Noriyuki 'Pat' Morita died today at age 73. Morita, better known to the rest of us as Mr. Kesuke Miyagi and sensei to Ralph Macchio, brought joy to millions with his deep philosophical phrases such as "wax-a-flooar", "paint-da-fence" and "you best karate still in side, daniel-san... now time let out".



He is survived by a wife of 12 years - she told the media he died of "natural causes". Yeah, right. Natural causes knocked off Mr. Miyagi? I think it was Martin Kove, aka John Kreese, Cobra Kai Sensei, who finally got back at the little man for honking his nose. I bet it went something like this...


[Pat Morita, elderly asian man using a motorized wheelchair to travel to the store to buy some Depends, stops on the corner of the street. John Kreese, scuzzy mullet man, approaches using his cane, having broken his hip in Karate Kid XII when trying to kick an I-beam in half]

Morita: Kreese
Kreese: YOU! You ruined me, Morita! Before you, I was in such memorable films as "Blood Tide" and "Trouble in High Timber Country". No one believed me as a tough guy anymore after I was repeatedly beat up by little Arnold from Happy Days.
Morita: You didn't have to be in the movie.
Kreese: I had no idea I'd look so silly. But it looks like I have the advantage now, old man. I can push you into the street and you wouldn't be able to get up and walk away.
Morita: You wouldn't kill and old man!
Kreese [going into a trance like state]: We do not train to be merciful here; mercy is for the weak. A man confronts you in the street he is your enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy

[Kreese wacks Morita in the head with his cane but becomes unbalanced. Both fall to the ground. As they strugle to get away, a lincoln continental driven by a 96 year old man that refuses to give up his lisence drives up and runs Morita over, catching only Kreese's mullet and ripping it off, scalp and all]

Kreese: My Hair!!! My beautiful Hair!!!

Why the cover up, you may wonder? I think it is shame. Mrs. Morita didn't want the world to know that Kreese finally got the best of him.

2 Comments:

At 9:02 PM, Blogger Brian said...

Mr. Miyagi is gone? I missed that one...its really a shame.....

Who will make Karate Kid Part XXXI?

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger Princess B said...

Who would have watched Karate Kid Part XXXI?

 

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