Dr. Daman

J.D.: Mr. Daniels, some fluid has gathered in your heart, so I'm going to schedule a pericardial centesis and drain it with a needle.
Mr. Daniels: Someone's going to stick a needle in my chest?
J.D.: Not just someone; Dr. Daman
Mr. Daniels: Who's Dr. Daman?
J.D.: ...Say it - -say it without the Dr.
Mr. Daniels: Who's Mr. Daman
J.D.: No, just say the last name.
Mr. Daniels: Who's Da Man?
J.D.: I'M THE MAN!
[laughs]
J.D.: It was awesome - it was fun doing that with you.

Good scene. Anyway, this doctor had fun yesterday when he got stomach goop all over his shoes. I was adjusting my patients nasogastric tube (drains the stomach out the nose) when it leaked out the backside. A nice, viscous, green goo with food chunks in it... mmm... food chunks.

Anyway, I got into the hospital today and the patient apparently sundowned last nights (Websters definition: old fogey going nutty when the sun goes down) and pulled the damn thing out. So after getting gooped, she was inconsiderate enough to destroy my work. Then this morning she was back to her sane self and acting like nothing happened. She did put her hand over he nose when I walked in, though.

Coffee Cups

Mankind has been drinking beverages from cups millenia. Centuries ago the problem of drinking on the go was solved by the creation of the canteen. So why is it that in the year 2005 coffee shops can only provide coffee cup covers that drip and leak all over the place? Anyone that has ever gotten a coffee from Starbucks knows what I'm talking about - after that first delicious sip there is a steady stream of coffee flowing down from under the cover and onto your hand.

I officially completed my first month of residency yesterday, and so far I have managed to avoid getting stained with blood, puke, feces, snot, and a variety of other disgusting body fluids. So why is it that I can't keep my coat clean? Well, these crappy cups and doctors' white coats just don't go together. I have splotches of light brown on both of my coats right around the sleeves, which is great when you reach over a patient to examine them. Apparently the hospital offers a complimentary dry cleaning service for white coats, but you have to turn them in by Thursday to get them the following thursday, and I keep forgetting.

I think I was spoiled over the last year with the Dunkin' donuts sippy cups, which re-cover and have never leaked on me (only my wife could get dunkin donuts coffee on herself, and those of you that know her know EXACTLY what I'm talking about), but they just don't fortify their coffee with enough caffeine, and they aren't around the hospital anyway.

My Fellow - My Brother-in-Law:

You know that feeling of deja vu you get when you see some people for the first time? Well it took me a little while but I finally realized why I thought my fellow looked familiar. It's because he looks exactly like my brother-in-law John. Which is funny, because I could never picture my brother-in-law as an oncologist. He's a guy that surfs down a flight of stairs on an ironing board.

Been busy at the hospital lately. I had a crazy day on call July 5th. 27 people were admitted just that day for oncology. It's funny, you'd think that you were sick enough to go to the hospital you'd go, and if you're not you wouldn't. So why is it that no one comes into the hospital over the holiday weekend and then everyone comes in on July 5th? If it wasn't serious enough to come in on the 4th, don't come in on the 5th.

On a positive note, I finally had successful blood draws from veins and from permanent lines. Never once had to do that in medical school but it comes up from time to time here. Conversely, my co-intern, who went to school in NJ, had to draw all of his own labs in med school. He wasn't allowed to pump his own gas (damn New Jersey) but he was allowed to stick needles in people.